Apr 30, 2014

In sickness and in health...

We get married and say those vows, but when we're young and saying them do we really think of what that means?  Do we truly expect the possibility of maybe being a care taker someday for our spouse?  Of course not...

I however and beyond grateful for a husband that said it, meant it at the moment and continues to show me he means it today.  One that is willing to show me he meant those vows 20 years from now if things go south.

A song I love 'Unanswered Prayers' by Garth Brooks comes to mind lately.  I remember a time when I wished and longed for something and was heartbroken when those prayers weren't answered.  I have always understood since the moment my eye's met my husband Aaron's on December 23rd of 2005 why.  As the song says 'remember when you're talking to the man upstairs that just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care...sometimes I thank God, for unanswered prayers'.  However since becoming sick and more so since April 3rd that song comes to mind more and I truly am thankful because not having those prayers answered meant I was where I needed to be at the right time with the right husband.  He gave me joy a new life, two beautiful daughters Samantha & Izabella and has shown me what true love really is.  No matter what my mood lately he's quick to tell me that it's all ok, that 'it is what it is' and we shall deal with it, together.  He has even reminded me by repeating those words in our vows multiple times.

Regardless, admit it or not he must have his own fears as our future is potentially a much different outlook of one than what we would have both envisioned.  And as strong as he is being for me, he must be grieving that imagined future to some degree as am I.

Today I had an emotional day.  Very shakey a leg that has been twitching out of control for over 12 straight hours.  I am frustrated and then received a call that the waiting game is over.  My appointment is booked to confirm or deny my diagnosis for 3 weeks time.  I have been impatiently waiting for that call for a month I knew it was coming, I wanted it to be here now... Oddly enough after getting the date I found myself an emotional mess for the afternoon.  Why?  I don't know.  I guess just another phase of adjusting to the possibility of a future with PD.  Despite my roller coaster day, my husband has been sweet, kind, a bit foolish to make me laugh and supportive as always.

So, I am thankful.  For a wonderful family a great support system and most importantly a husband that puts our girls and me first above all else.  Who loves me unconditionally and will do so 'in sickness and in health'.  So to him.... I love you, as much as I did when we were first together like the photo below... always and forever... xo

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